Too many conflicts arise from misunderstandings

I sit on the other side of the couch, facing my husband, perplexed that what he heard me say was mostly the opposite of what i meant. If we didn't check in with each other by asking "Did i get that right?" we would have fallen down a rabbit hole, ending up with mild shouting and hurt feelings; only to realize much later, when the situation calmed down, that it was all a misunderstanding. We would have wasted valuable time that could have been spent on a thoughtful, interesting conversation.

But this doesn't just happen with my husband. It occurs with my mom, dad, friends, and co-workers. I say something in a certain way, and suddenly things go downhill, despite my positive intentions.

World Peace — Achievable?

Besides orgasms, thoughtful and kind conversations are another tool that can help us live in a peaceful and fun world. At least, they've helped me.

In other words, fun and nurturing relationships create a peaceful, loving, exciting environment to live in. Peaceful people lead to more peaceful people; it's contagious.

Communication is key to sustaining such relationships.

However, it is challenging to have a peaceful and productive conversation, especially on a topic that both parties really care about and have opposite views.

Conversation Agreements

For the past two years, we have been testing a bunch of what we call "conversation agreements" and have compiled them here — KindTalk.org. We gathered them from multiple resources such "The Four Agreements", Stanford's "Touchy Feely" course, Thich Nhat Hanh, Vipassana Meditation, and so on.

I've noticed that we used to have very heated debates about topics like "what makes healthy food healthy", "government structures", "money & power", "how different systems work", etc. Since we've compiled and agreed on this list, we can listen to each other better, and our debates are 80% more thoughtful, loving, peaceful, and ultimately more enjoyable.